You Know You Work in Assisted Living When…

  • you have an immense appreciation for your should-be-canonized, superhero front desk receptionists
  • you engage in regular conversations about things like back aches and bowel movements
  • you can recite the names, without thought or hesitation, of each resident’s children and grandchildren (and likely those of their spouses and everyone’s latest accomplishments) because you hear about them constantly
  • despite your actual role, your job responsibilities include fixing/teaching TV remotes, cell phones, and “the computer”
  • your “inside voice” is audible outside (and possibly across the street)
  • you’ve learned that affectionate pats on the butt are not just a sports thing (*note* this is a signature nonna move, don’t worry)
  • your relationship status is a daily topic of discussion
  • on a similar note, you’re also not-so-subtly told about single, tall, dark, & handsome grandsons.. and by “told about” I mean “pressured into an arranged marriage with”
  • you’re well-versed in acronyms (ADL, PPD, DNR, SNF, etc.)
  • you’ve witnessed genuine, lifelong, awe-inspiring true love – the kind that takes your breath away and brings you to [secret] tears
  • you’ve learned the value of positivity and how therapeutic it can be (which is why you cry those sappy love tears in private, you big baby!)
  • you know what Depends look like IRL and you’ve fully accepted the fact that we’ll likely all be in them one day
  • …actually, you know what a lot of stuff you read about and see illustrated on funny birthday cards looks like IRL
  • you’ve mastered the art of going with the flow, even if it’s more of recurring wave than a fleeting stream
  • you’ve gotten crucified at Resident Council for things like two-ply toilet paper
  • hand sanitizing is part of your daily (hourly?) routine
  • …but so are kissing, hugging, arm-locking, and hand-holding ❤
  • you’re regularly floored by how much you’ve yet to learn and blown away by the wisdom that surrounds you
  • patience pulses through your veins (& if it doesn’t, this post likely won’t apply to you for long)
  • you call your nonna. Not only because you love her, but because you see firsthand how a mere “Thinking of you” can be so powerful
  • you can always count on honest, filter-free opinions and advice, the kind you wish you had the guts to give yourself
  • you’re unavoidably kissed smack on the lips pretty regularly (and you’re okay with that)
  • your source of #inspiration and #goals (relationship & otherwise) is not the Instagram popular page – it’s your incredible residents
  • you have a blast. Of course you will be busy and some days sad or stressed, but a lot of the time, you’ll have the most playful, affectionate, fulfilling, heartfelt f’ing fun.
  • you learn to truly live your life. Not necessarily by inference, either – I’ve found that this kind of lesson can be taught (and is explicitly encouraged).
  • that love you witness? The unconditional, nonjudgmental, unwavering adoration? You feel it every single day.

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